There is so much to learn about ourselves! We think we know ourselves well, and so we try to go out and understand others. Well, imagine trying to understand others, trying to make sense of how others are feeling when we are struggling to make sense of ourselves!!
I am reminded of one of the most famous sayings - You must be the change you wish to see in the world (by Mahatma Gandhi).
Earlier this week, I was telling someone that till s/he stops thinking that s/he is a victim, s/he cannot deal with the situation and s/he won't be at peace. It is definitely easy to talk than to follow right?
After an amazing solo run/walk at Cubbon park and visiting a close aunt, I was driving back home when it suddenly stuck me that the reason I have so many expectations from others is because I feel like I am a victim. When I say 'victim' I am not saying I am at the receiving end of a major casualty or incident. I am referring to the 'sorry' feeling we often let ourselves immerse in, the feeling of being in the 'not fair' state, or 'why only me' state!
When we are at our lowest phase, do we expect others to be extra nice to us? Do we expect others to call us and not picking the phone and calling ourselves, no matter how close you are to someone? Do we expect the whole world to understand exactly what we are going through?
When I put it down in words, it sounds so silly. But I feel majority of us feel this way. And the main reason we feel this way is because we feel we are the 'victims'. If we didn't feel we were victims, would we expect someone else to understand us, or be there for us and go that extra mile for us? Each one has their own journey, why are we expecting someone to be nice to us? We are feeling low, that's fine, but because we feel we deserve better and that it's not fair that we are feeling low, we start these expectations to somehow compensate for the low we are feeling. Isn't it?
I am not sure if I have put across my points clearly :) But they are out of my head now!! And it is a sensitive topic. Because why would we accept openly that we feel a certain way? That would make us vulnerable right? And we all want to put on a brave face to the world! Well, I have realized that the first step to change ourselves or improve ourselves is to understand ourselves and acknowledge what we are! We don't have to tell the whole world about our thoughts, but let us be honest to ourselves, and acknowledge everything we are going through and once we understand the why part, we can try to change that (if we want).
Not sure if it was a bouncer, but there goes my two cents :))
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| Early morning sunshine |
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| One of my favorite places! |
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| Yummy Birthday Cake! |
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| Chai with someone special |
